


I protect my lonely innocence with more of my sins (I do it more when you tell me not to)

by bckwrds101



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, I'm still not good at tagging, Trinkets AU, and yes nick is the abusive guy wow this comes as a shock to exactly zero people, but i'm putting a trigger warning for abusive relationship over here, idk i'm really bad at tagging but the important thing is there, it's an amazing Netflix show go watch it, last tag just for assurance in case people are thinking about questioning it: cheryl is a lesbian, oh there's also some shoplifting stuff and meetings, so TW: ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, the trigger warning PLEASE read the trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-09-01 04:57:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20252554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bckwrds101/pseuds/bckwrds101
Summary: Cheryl doesn’t kill, she doesn’t hurt people, not physically, anyways. All she does is take a few bracelets from some stores, some lipsticks from others, some candy from the convenience store near Pop’s when she feels the need to get some sugar in her system. Really, it’s nothing to worry about.But still, Veronica drags her to that Shoplifters Anonymous meeting.And of course Toni Topaz is there.-kind of a Trinkets au kinda not





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I still don't quite know how to start these notes...  
Hi?
> 
> This is kind of a Trinkets au I started writing back in June when I binge watched the show on a Sunday afternoon instead of studying (story of my life lol tragic)
> 
> Please, PLEase, PLEASE! READ THE ADDITIONAL TAG (more specifically the TRIGGER WARNING one). I'll repeat it here just in case: this story shows ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS and some description of these ABUSIVE BEHAVIORS.
> 
> Please don't read it if you think it will be a trigger of any kind. You and your mental health are way more important than a fanfiction!!! 
> 
> Also, the title might be changing because I'm not sure about it one yet.
> 
> Other than that, I hope you enjoy this chapter. 
> 
> You can find me on twitter @bckwrds101

“Hi, I’m Martha.”

“Hi, Martha.”

For probably the tenth time that afternoon, Cheryl Blossom suppresses a roll of eyes as she yawns discreetly. A nudge from Veronica Lodge by her side shows it may not have been as discreet as she thought. There’s nothing really she can do if that meeting is extremely boring. It doesn’t help that she didn’t choose to go to that place, knowing there was no way she would be sitting there if the girl by her side hadn’t dragged her by the arm, driving two hours past Greendale just so she could feel “more comfortable”, as the Lodge had previously explained.

There’s nothing to feel uncomfortable about, though. She doesn’t kill, she doesn’t hurt people, not physically, anyways. All Cheryl does is take a few bracelets from some stores, some lipsticks from others, some candy from the convenience store near Pop’s when she feels the need to get some sugar in her system. Really, it’s nothing to worry about.

‘You have a problem, Cheryl. Let me help.’

Veronica’s words echo in her head as someone, probably that Martha woman, keeps talking and talking and talking and... wait, is she sobbing? A sigh and a roll of eyes leave the Blossom before she can stop herself, and her friend - or whatever she is - pinches her arm to reprehend that behavior. She flinches and forcefully slaps the hand away from her. ‘Fresh bruises, Veronica. God! How can you not know?’ The redhead thinks, but it’s not like she can say anything.

The little dynamic brings the attention to the two girls, and the blonde lady in red cardigan and gentle eyes smiles at them. Cheryl swallows harshly as Veronica glares at her. ‘See what you did?’

“How about the new faces begin their sharing experience?” Honestly, it’s hard to suppress an eyebrow raise at hearing those soft words directed at them. But Cheryl makes an effort. She doesn’t want to be thrown out of there, not just yet.

Veronica is the first to react, by widening her eyes and shaking her head. As if she wants as much distance as possible from that stand, as if she is trying hard not to say she’s ‘better than that’. Wasn’t that what she answered when Cheryl tried to argue with her about the situation?

_“Please, Veronica. Isn’t it in every rich bitch’s code to steal some things once in a while?”_

_“I’m better than that.” The girl retorts, but regrets it just as the last word leaves her mouth._

That statement, as honest and not trying to be offensive as it was, had stung - Cheryl’s face had said it all -, and the guilt must have eaten Veronica alive. Because there’s no other possible reason for her to do all that research and bring Cheryl to “get some help”.

“I-I’m...” Her friend’s voice pulled Cheryl from her own thoughts, making it hard for her not to scoff at the other girl’s stuttering. “I’m not... I’m here for moral support.” Veronica finishes her sentence with a wide friendly smile as she reaches an arm around Cheryl’s shoulder and brings her close. A gentle squeeze on the Blossom’s shoulder to tell her to open a smile as well.

Cheryl forces a shy grin on her face, causing the woman to do the same. What’s her name again? She had said it in the beginning of the reunion. “Julianna, but please cal me Anna.”

“So, would you like to share something with us?” Anna asks, encouragingly.

Cheryl musters all the strength she can to smile that sweetly fake smile she reserves for the dumb Vixens when they can’t get a step right. Veronica carefully squeezes her shoulder once again as a warning, or a plead. ‘Please don’t do that. Go easy.’

“I think I’ll pass.” And easy the Maple Syrup Princess goes, her smile never faltering and her high pitched tone showing how absurd that idea is.

She hears a sigh in relief from her companion, rolling her eyes when Anna turns around to the front and focus her attention on someone else. 

A scoff makes the redhead whip her head to her left side, but she can’t really tell who’s the one to let it out. Either the petite girl with a weirdly tasty flannel mesh aesthetic, or the older lady on the corner, with a scorning face and terrible hair cut. Cheryl thinks she should be the one scorning, looking at all those problematic people, but shakes her head and tries to focus on the next person to take the stand.

“Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah...”

The meeting finishes and Cheryl wants nothing more than to leave that place. But they have snacks and Veronica didn’t just drive for over two hours to leave empty handed. On an empty stomach, actually.

There are cookies and pieces of pie, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and the redhead observes as her friend digs in, a smile on her face. ‘Honestly, Veronica! We can go to the most expensive restaurant in this freaking town and it wouldn’t even cause our parents to look twice at their bank statements, or their credit card bills. And you’re happy with some oatmeal cookies that are probably from yesterday?’ Cheryl wants to say, barely refraining herself to do so. It’s a snobbish comment, her brother would have said. And she’s trying to be better. For him. Failing miserably, but trying nonetheless.

“Let me guess... some judge, probably your parents’ friend or something, cut you a deal and you’re too disgusted to come by herself, so you brought some moral support?!”

A voice reaches Cheryl’s ears as she’s about to degrade herself and grab a cookie as well. For Jason’s sake. She looks up and sees the flannel girl standing right in front of her, and realization quickly dwells on her that she was the one to scoff at her back in the meeting.

“You seem to think you know me really well.” Is the retort that leaves the redhead’s mouth as she trails her eyes up and down the girl in front of her.

Seems like she’s also a teen, great shoes, nice legs, cool flannel mesh aesthetic in general, beautiful brown eyes and pink hair, probably a cheap hair paint or whatever. And Cheryl will be damned if she lets a girl with pink fucking hair judge her like that. HBIC is ready to take over.

“I know your type. Rich girl. Can’t be held accountable for her mistakes. Probably had to beg daddy not to cut your allowance when you got caught, promising you would attend the meetings like the good girl you are.”

Cheryl wonders if the girl is there to get on her nerves or if that’s how delinquents start small talk.

“Interesting. And you got that theory based on...”

“The fact that your brooch itself could buy this entire building, so you’re not stealing because you have to.”

First option. The bite in the girl’s tone shows that there’s no wish to start small talk.

“You’re right.” Cheryl shrugs and looks around, if she herself weren’t the reason they were there, Veronica’s ‘I’m better than that’ words could be applied. “But you’re also wrong.” About so many things.

One step around the table and she’s looking down at the flannel girl as her eyes shine in defiance. Definitely not a Vixen she can intimidate. It wouldn’t be fun if she were.

“About...?”

“No judge cut me a deal.” She answers, before putting the oatmeal cookie on the table with a scrunched nose. “I don’t get caught.” And, with a smug smile on her face, she turns around and tells Veronica she’ll be waiting by the entrance.

“Technically, I caught her.” Cheryl hears Veronica whisper to the pink haired delinquent with a light chuckle. “I’m Veronica. And that’s Cheryl.”

“Toni.” The girl answers, and there’s a slight amused tone in her voice. “Topaz.”

-

“Where were you?”

Cheryl flinches as she opens her bedroom door that evening and hears the familiar voice of her boyfriend. She sighs, not really wanting to deal with that at the moment. Not after the last night.

“Out with Veronica.” The answer comes out of her mouth, dry and unemotionally, and she doesn’t even spare a glance at him as she walks to the closet to change herself.

Nick doesn’t get the message - he rarely does -, following her like a puppy and placing himself behind her. A sharp exhale leaves him as Cheryl lifts her sweater and takes it off, exposing the fresh bruises in her arms. Handprint bruises. His handprint.

“This is my last day in town for a while, Cheryl.” He speaks, and Cheryl knows he’s trying to be patient with her. She knows he doesn’t want to scold her. Or maybe he does. Anyway, she can’t help but feel guilt creeping on her mind.

_‘That’s why he is how he is. That’s why he does what he does. You don’t make it easy for him, Cheryl. Of course he has to take matters into his hands.’_

The apology leaves her mouth in a whisper and she looks down to the ground when Nick comes behind her and places his hands on her waist. With a sigh, she knows where this is going, Cheryl doesn’t even bother putting a shirt on as they start walking towards the bed.

It will be over soon. Then Nick will have to go back to New York for some weeks, probably attend a few meetings overseas as well. So it’s the least she can do, she thinks. Endure it, cause she won’t have to do it for a while after that.

The best part of a relationship is never really sex, anyways. It’s uncomfortable and it hurts, but her boyfriend doesn’t seem to mind, so why should she? Cheryl was never the most pain tolerant person, it’s her fault, she thinks, it will probably get better with time.

Cheryl fails to remember she’s been telling herself that for the past six months. She’s been doing the same thing about the bruises for the past four.

“Don’t forget we have that event with your mother next month. Important people will be there.” Nick says after he finishes and stands up to put his clothes on right away, not sparing his girlfriend a glance.

If he did, he would have seen the blank expression in Cheryl’s face, or the way she keeps her hands gripping the bedsheets to stop them from shaking. The redhead knows that the boy doesn’t look at her because he feels guilty about the night before, which means it will probably be a while before the next time. She can’t stop herself from wondering what will it be about. A text from Reggie asking to copy her homework? Denying him something because she has a lot to do for school? Wearing shorts to the Vixen practice?

When Nick leaves, saying a quick goodbye and gripping her face to kiss her lips, Cheryl stands up from her bed and walks to her closet. ‘This is not a good idea’ she thinks as she puts whatever clothes she can find on. ‘Whatever, Veronica’s not even here.’

There’s a market in the border between south and north side. Cheryl doesn’t usually go there, since it’s easier for her to drive to the convenience store next to Pop’s. But tonight she’s feeling slightly less inclined to go to the one she’s used to, knowing there’s a risk the girl she’s trying to avoid might be at Pop’s with her boyfriend and her real friends.

Cheryl knows she’s more of a burden than anything. She’s not expecting a real friendship from Veronica Lodge. It doesn’t stop her from hoping that the raven haired girl puts the effort to drive her to another town and keep her company in a meeting out of concern, not obligation. It doesn’t stop her from doing the exact opposite those meetings encourage, either.

It’s nine at night and Cheryl leaves the market with two Toblerone bars, a pack of Trident and a small bag of mini Oreos. The cashier not even bothering to look at her as she enters and exits empty handed.

-

“I hope you paid for those.” Cheryl hears half an hour later, as she’s sitting at some random sidewalk near the market - north’s side, of course -, staring blankly at the chocolate in her hands. She can’t help but feel she’d heard that voice before.

Looking away from the squashed Toblerone in her hands, the redhead is greeted with a pair of fishnet tights and nice boots. With a sigh, she looks up and meets brown eyes and pink hair. Toni Topaz. Not the best time to have a banter with a delinquent, Cheryl ponders. She’s not feeling up for it.

“Nice shoes.” The Blossom says, instead, seeing a small grin grace the other girl’s features. She’s not deflecting, per se. Toni’s statement was just not one that really needs answering.

“You didn’t answer me.” The pink haired girl points out, with one raised eyebrow and crossed arms.

“I didn’t think it needed answering.”

Toni sits by Cheryl’s side anyways, scoffing as she grabs the bag of mini Oreos and opens it. The redhead looks at her indignantly.

“That’s mine.” She states and hears a laugh coming from the girl by her side.

“Is it really yours if you didn’t pay for it?” Toni retorts and places a cookie in her mouth, slowly chewing it with a defiant smirk on her face. Cheryl wishes she had the strength to wipe that smirk off, but she feels kinda drained at the moment.

“It is, because I was the one to take it.” The answer comes out of her mouth more out of spite than anything else. Cheryl knows she shouldn’t really be getting herself into an argument about possession of stolen goods, especially not when she’s the thief herself, but she can’t really help it, can she.

Toni kicks a small rock on the ground and chuckles, probably thinking the same thing. Cheryl has half the mind to ask her why is she acting so high and mighty when they both are attending the same SA meetings. She doesn’t, because another thought rushes through her mind.

“What are you doing here?”

“Came here to get some food. My chicken nuggets are out.” The girl answers, adding with a grin. “And when I say ''get', I mean ‘buy’. You know, when you actually give money in exchange for a product.”

The thought of bringing up that Toni is going to a shoplifters' meeting occurs to Cheryl one more time. She stops herself before saying anything. She wouldn’t like people throwing that on her face, so that means she shouldn’t do it to others. Jason would have been proud of her decision.

“I mean ‘here’ as in Riverdale.” The redhead explains, with a slight roll of eyes. “The meetings are like two hours away...” She makes sure to say the word meetings as lowly as possible, in case anyone’s around.

“The same as you, I suppose. Living here?” Toni shrugs, nonchalant. “As for the meetings, I couldn’t really choose the place.”

“That’s where whatever infraction happened...?” Cheryl deduces and the girl confirms with a nod.

“What about you, Cheryl?” The pink haired girl asks, and the redhead doesn’t show surprise at the fact that she knows her name, knowing Veronica had told her earlier. “Where was the place of your infraction?”

Cheryl rolls her eyes, remembering the fateful shopping day in Greendale with Veronica, Josie and Betty. She’d gotten out of the store unnoticed by the security guard and the salesperson, a new bracelet in her pocket that she would never really use. Veronica had noticed, though, and that’s when the ‘You have a problem’ talk had started, ending when Josie and Betty walked towards them with the ice cream cones they had gone out to buy.

Too much information, the Blossom thought before opening her mouth. It’s not like Toni had given her a lot, anyways. So she states the simple.

“I told you, Bubblegum, I don’t get caught.”

The most beautiful laugh leaves Toni’s mouth at that comment. And Cheryl has half the mind to look down to the even more squashed chocolate in her hands to hide her blushed cheeks. Unsure of what she was even blushing about.

“Bubblegum, that’s a good one.” The girl comments, flashing Cheryl an amused smile that she can’t help but return with a shy one of her own when she looks up to meet her eyes. “But I do recall Veronica saying she caught you.”

“She saw me.” Cheryl corrects, to what Topaz raises an eyebrow. “That’s completely different!”

“I hardly think so.” Toni retorts, the amused look still on her face.

“It is, but whatever.” Cheryl mumbles, nibbling for the first time the chocolate she was holding. To keep herself occupied and avoid looking at the other girl.

“Well, as fun as our conversation was. I’m afraid I’ll have to go.” The pink haired teen states, standing up and offering Cheryl a hand. “Those chicken nuggets are not gonna buy themselves.”

Cheryl chuckles, grabbing the girl’s hand and standing up as well. She looks at the barely touched chocolate in her hands and finds herself feeling guilty for throwing it away in front of Toni. She decides to wait until she gets home.

“Be careful around here, princess. Northsiders don’t really come here often, even though this place is half theirs.” Toni offers, a gentle hold on Cheryl’s hand and a small smile on her face. “People could spot a rich girl from afar around here. Wouldn’t want your pretty little face getting hurt.”

“You think I’m pretty?”

As soon as the question leaves her mouth, Cheryl mentally curses herself. Firstly because of how vulnerable it sounded. Secondly because of how in need of assurance she felt when she heard someone call her pretty.

Cheryl Blossom doesn’t need assurance. Cheryl Blossom knows she’s beautiful.

_‘When is your hair growing longer?’_

_‘You could ask your mother for a nose job as a birthday present, what do you think?’_

_‘Have you ever thought of going blonde? Forget it, it would look worse.’_

_‘I like the booty, baby, but maybe you should cut the carbs for a while, how about that?’_

Nick St. Clair clearly disagrees.

“What? The prettiest!” Toni answers as if it’s the most absurd question she was ever asked. “Now I gotta get going, really. My friends will kill me if I don’t feed them.”

“Okay.” That’s all Cheryl manages to let out with how flustered she feels. She’s glad it’s slightly dark where they are standing, so the other girl can’t really see her blush that well.

And when Toni lets go of her, Cheryl realizes they’ve been holding hands all along. And she hates the fact that it doesn’t bother her as it should.

It’s then that she notices, when the pink haired girl turns around to walk to the market. A leather jacket with a serpent on its back, staring right at her, as if mockingly.

Of fucking course.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi... so... here's another one. 
> 
> Honestly, I'm so awkward writing chapter notes, I never know what to say. I don't know if I've mentioned that the updates are going to be weekly, but if I did, this is a reminder, if I didn't, well, now I did. (As I said. A W K W A R D lol) :)
> 
> Anyways, I hope you like it... I really really do. 
> 
> You can find me on twitter @bckwrds101

“We really don’t have to go, Veronica.” Cheryl tries again, as they leave Thornhill’s driveway to go to the meeting.

Veronica has a smile on her face and her expression is soft when she shakes her head one more time. Really, Cheryl’s been trying to convince her not to go to the meeting since... well, probably since they’ve arrived from the first one.

“It will be fun, Cheryl.” She encourages and holds the redhead’s hand for a second, before Cheryl pulls it away.

Cheryl fails to forget the way someone else’s hand held hers and how it made her feel. Confused. And angry at herself for not despising the touch. Mad that all she could think about ever since that night was of nice boots, pink hair and a leather jacket.

“You and I know fun very differently.” She retorts with a scowl and looks out the window.

The car ride is silent, mostly because Cheryl is dreading the idea of attending another weekly meeting. But also because Veronica doesn’t quite know the way yet, so she’s very focused on the GPS.

Before they enter, however, the raven haired girl gently grabs Cheryl’s arm. And the redhead is glad Nick hasn’t been around lately, otherwise she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from flinching if her friend unknowingly gripped a bruised spot.

“Be nice, Cher.” The Lodge asks, almost pleadingly. Almost as if she really cares, Cheryl thinks to herself.

She wouldn’t be driving you here if she didn’t care, another voice in her head argues. She pays no mind to it.

“Try not to seem so...” Veronica avoided her glaze to try and find the best way to say the word. “Judgmental.”

“Weren’t you the one to say you were better than that?” Cheryl retorts in a whisper and regrets it right away as she sees the other teen’s face fall. ‘She’s trying, Cheryl. Maybe you should as well.’ For Jason. She tells herself through a deep exhale, before smiling at Veronica. “I’ll behave, Ronnie. Promise.” Veronica smiles and coaches her inside.

The meeting is the same as the week before. Only a few different people, with different stories, united by the art of shoplifting. And Cheryl makes a bigger effort this time, doesn’t roll her eyes or yawn once, even listening to some testimonies.

A few testimonies, actually, because she sometimes shifts her eyes to the figure two rows in front of her. Staring at pink hair and thinking about that day in the market. And when the girl turns around to see whose eyes were burning the back of her head, Cheryl can’t help but look down, blushing. Like a girl caught staring at her high school crush.

With widen eyes, as soon as the thought reaches her mind, Cheryl urges it away. There’s no crush, there’s nothing. She has Nick and Toni probably has someone gang affiliated. She doesn’t even like the Serpent, they had like one good interaction and one bad one, it’s not even enough to develop anything. Especially not a crush. She doesn’t even like girls.

A chill runs through her spine as she thinks about it. God, her mind instantly goes to Heather... if something like that ever happens again, she’s dead. Even if her Nick doesn’t do it, her mother will.

Nope. She likes Nick. She loves Nick.

Cheryl Blossom and Nick St. Clair are meant to be together. They’re in love. So what if the sex is not great? So what if he’s not really nice sometimes? So what if the bruises burn and she had to buy at least four cellphones in the past two months because Nick kept throwing them on the wall out of jealousy?

They’re in love. Nick loves her and she loves Nick.

“Cheryl?” A gentle hand touches hers and Cheryl sees she’s gripping so tight on her skirt that it’s probably ruined by wrinkles. It’s only when she notices how blurry everything seems that she realizes she has tears falling from her eyes. “Is everything okay?” Veronica asks in a whisper, not to drag attention to the both of them.

‘No. It hasn’t been okay for the longest time.’ She debates on answering, deciding against it almost right away. She only looks at Veronica with a smile she could barely muster up and nods her head. The raven haired girl doesn't seem to believe her, but says nothing as she squeezes one of Cheryl’s hands on her own and looks back to the person on the stand.

No one seems to notice what just happened, for Cheryl’s relief. The last thing she wants is to be the talk of a Shoplifters Anonymous meeting. As she wipes her tears with her free hand, thanking heavens for waterproof makeup, her eyes meet gentle ones, two rows in front of hers. She’s wrong, Toni definitely noticed.

-

“So… Martin’s testimony… really touching.” Toni mutters first thing as soon as she arrives near the snacks table, where Veronica was already too distracted by the snacks to hear them.

Cheryl, rolls her eyes at that comment. Both girls know she wasn’t really crying because of the guy's story about how he tried to steal two car wheels from a Walmart and got caught. Nor the fact that he’s now clean of shoplifting for 6 weeks. It’s an achievement, but it’s not even Cheryl’s, why would she cry about that?

“Can we pretend you didn’t see it?” The redhead asks, hope in her voice as she looks at Toni almost pleadingly. How would she even explain why she was crying anyways? She wasn’t even sure herself.

“Sure thing, princess.” The other girl says with a wink, her eyes softening for a moment before she adds. “But if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m a phone call away.” 

A smile grace the redhead’s features, a thankful one. She couldn’t really stop thinking how weird things were. A week ago, on that same spot, Toni Topaz was making all kinds of assumptions about Cheryl and her habits. Now, she is trying to make Cheryl feel better by offering to hear about her problems. She wonders when was it that the Serpent changed her mind. Was it because of the only good interaction they’d had that night? Or was she such a genuinely good person that offered a shoulder for anyone to cry on?

“I don’t really have your phone number.” Instead of dwelling on those thoughts, the Blossom decides to just take up on the offer, in case she needs it one day. And, honestly, the thought of having someone other than Veronica to talk to was not really that bad, considering she and the raven haired girl hardly talk sometimes. Not about subject that matters, anyways. 

Toni reaches her hand out and Cheryl gives her her phone with a smile, that grows even larger when, after typing her number on it, the pink haired girl takes a silly faced selfie to use as her contact picture. She chuckles as she gives the redhead her phone back, muttering something about her best angle and stuff like that. 

Before they can continue talking, Veronica absentmindedly chimes in, not noticing Toni’s presence from the place she stands by Cheryl’s side. “When is Nick coming back?” She asks and turns around to look at her friend, only then to see Toni there. “Oh, hi, Toni! Enjoying the snacks, I see?”

“Always, Veronica! These snacks are the best part.” The pink haired girl comments before looking back at Cheryl and asking. “Who's Nick?”

Cheryl exhales, because, really, Nick is so the last topic she wants to talk about. She just wants to keep things separated. Good things from bad things. She wants to have at least that new forming friendship to herself, so her boyfriend doesn't ruin it.

She has half the mind to think when was it that she began thinking of her relationship with Nick as ‘the bad’, when was it that she started to fear her boyfriend ruining stuff for her. Biting on the inside of her cheek, she inhales before answering. Nick loves her and she loves him.

‘He's the best you’ll ever get, Cheryl. Don't ruin it.’ Her mother’s voice echo in her head.

“My boyfriend. He lives in New York.”

If that information takes Toni by surprise, she doesn’t show. She only smiles gently and looks at Cheryl’s hands, once again gripping her skirt as if it were going to fall if she didn’t hold it tight enough. The redhead notices the same thing and refrains herself from doing so, smiling back at the pink haired girl. 

Cheryl looks at her side to see Veronica grinning at both of them. She definitely has something on her mind, Cheryl can tell by now, and the Blossom furrows her eyebrows in confusion, knowing whatever idea it is, it can’t really be a good one. Toni just keeps looking at the raven haired girl expectantly, curious to know what’s on her mind.

“What if we stayed around here for a while then? I have an errand to run, it’s probably on the next block.” The Lodge offers, her grin widening at the way Toni shrugs as if it’s whatever. As if it’s a good idea. It’s not. If Nick finds out… It will be just like that night of Reggie Mantle’s party. 

Cheryl’s not supposed to be out late. If she is thinking of doing so, she has to text Nick, tell him her plans and see what he thinks. Most of the time he says she should go back home and she ends up making an excuse about not feeling well and leaves the girls. 

If she tells Nick, she knows what he’s going to say. But Veronica is her ride, she can’t go home without her. And Toni’s actually almost agreeing to that outing, and Cheryl would be lying if she said she didn't find the gang member quite intriguing, despite their first interaction. She wants to get to know Toni, befriend her even, have someone else in her life other than Nick and Veronica. 

Hesitantly, the redhead nods in agreement. Hoping Nick never finds out. 

“Let's go, girls.” Veronica, always fond of the dramatics, place herself in the middle of the two other teens and link her arms with theirs. Toni lets out a laugh, and that makes Cheryl chuckle in excitement.

-

“Really, Veronica?” Cheryl enquires as she stops at the front door of the place Veronica led them to, with crossed arms and a raised eyebrow. Indignant that her friend was even suggesting that idea in first place.

“I need lingerie, Cher.” Veronica argues, trying to pull her inside. 

Cheryl stomps her foot harder, not even budging. Nothing’s gonna make her get inside that place. She thinks about her mother’s reaction… if Penelope Blossom ever finds out her daughter entered a sex shop. 

“You can go to Victoria’s Secret, or whatever!” The redhead protests, barely noticing Toni rolling her eyes in mockery at that statement. 

“I need other things as well, Bombshell…” The raven haired girl speaks, shyly. 

Cheryl is about to ask her what other things she needs so much to the point where they have to walk inside a freaking sex shop to purchase. Veronica is never one to be shy about things, why is she acting shy right when she’s trying to coach them to enter that place. Well, coach Cheryl to enter that place, Toni seems fine with it. Her questioning is cut off by the mentioned pink haired girl.

“Bombshell?” She asks with a smile. And Cheryl can’t really pinpoint why she’s embarrassed of that name for the first time.

“It’s her nickname.” Veronica answers for the redhead, raising a questioning eyebrow as Cheryl ducks her head down with a blush on her face. “Also her username on social media. Follow @CherylBombshell and she’ll make sure to follow back. Right, Bombshell?”

To spare herself from answering, Cheryl does the unthinkable. She links her arm back with Veronica’s and steps inside the store, hearing the bell chime as she drags the raven haired girl inside. 

Looking back, she sees Toni following them, with an amused smile on her face. Her beautiful face. Cheryl rushes to the lingerie section as soon as that thought hits her, almost pulling Veronica’s off her body with the strength she’s making. Before the Lodge can even complain, or ask her about what just happened, she speaks.

“Here. Lingerie. Just find one already.”

Veronica gives her an excited smile and tells her it will only be a couple minutes. 

That was half an hour ago and the three girls are still inside the fitting rooms, one in each stall. Veronica and Toni cheerfully trying lingeries and exchanging stories, as Cheryl just sits inside her stall, waiting for them to finish, feeling extremely out of place.

After they settle for the lingerie they wanted, Cheryl thinks they’re about to leave, but Veronica only walks towards another section and drags her along by her arm. The redhead swears her face turns the same color of her hair as she looks at what’s in there. 

“Don’t be all flustered, Bombshell.” Toni teases, clearly loving the nickname she’s recently found out Cheryl possessed. The Blossom couldn’t really complain about the way it leaves the girl’s mouth, though.

“Cheryl’s really reserved when it comes to those subjects, Toni.” Veronica informs, rolling her eyes as she holds something in her hands, showing it to Toni. Toni shakes her head with scrunched nose at the object, and the raven haired girl puts it back into its place. “Sometimes I even question if she’s not still a virgin.”

The idea of still being a virgin while dating Nick makes Cheryl suppress a laugh. As if it were ever possible. Not with how much he likes it, how much he'd wanted it even before Cheryl felt ready to do it herself. Instead of laughing, the redhead only shrugs. 

“I'm not a virgin.” She says, simply, refusing to even look at the things Veronica shows her for more than two seconds. “It's just… sex is overrated. Not a really good part of a relationship, in my opinion.”

“Then, my friend, I’m afraid to say you’re doing it wrong.” Veronica laughs when saying that. And with the amount of PDA she and Archie display in Riverdale High’s hallways, it’s not like she would get the ‘not liking sex’ thing. She clearly doesn’t feel the same way Cheryl does.

“Or with the wrong person.” Toni says, with a pointed look that makes Cheryl want to hide herself, or the blush in her cheeks.

She didn’t mean anything like that, Cheryl tells herself. How could she, really? Toni, with all that confidence, why would she even look at Cheryl Blossom that way, with all her flaws and faults. Why would Cheryl even want her to do so in first place?

She feels lucky that Nick St. Clair even spared a glance at her. Even if he’s not quite the most loving and caring boy sometimes. It’s not like her boyfriend is aggressive out of nowhere, Cheryl is sure she does something to spite him. She’s sure it’s her fault.

Even if it weren’t, how could she get anyone better? With how fucked up her life is.

“Can't be.” Veronica dismisses the comment with a roll of eyes, already looking at some oddly shaped object. “Cheryl and Nick are it. Right, Bombshell?”

“Sure.”

Even Veronica whips her head to actually look at her with how dead Cheryl’s tone was. Cheryl finds it hard to believe they are actually IT, as her friend mentioned, but doesn’t care, or doesn’t want to go further into details.

‘Maybe all relationships are like that.’ Is the thought that makes her endure the bad days. ‘Maybe it’s normal.’ Cheryl tells herself whenever Nick is being particularly rough. ‘Even if it isn’t, it’s my fault anyways.’ Then, when he leaves, she covers her bruises with a sweatshirt and goes inside whatever open store, treating herself to a new necklace, or a bracelet, or a ring, or sunglasses that she’s never really gonna wear. She never gets caught and that fact is too comforting for her to stop.

“How enthusiastic.” The pink haired girl mocks with a grin. One that fades as she looks at the blank look on the Blossom’s face.

“If you’re like that while you’re having sex, no wonder it’s not enjoyable.” Veronica doesn’t quite get the same cue as Toni, and comments. 

Cheryl’s about to grab her skirt again, and hold it tight for the hundredth time that day, when she feels a hand placed on her lower back. As a calming gesture. Soothing.

“Well, if she doesn’t like it, she can’t help but be like that, can she?” Toni replies, a bite in her tone that Cheryl’d only heard on her first meeting. When they were not really friendly towards each other. “What do you think she should do? Pretend she enjoys it just so she can get him off?”

Those words make Cheryl blush profusely and look down in embarrassment. She knows she shouldn’t be embarrassed. She’s Cheryl Blossom, after all. She can’t help but feel shy upon hearing two people talk so normally about sex, as if it were a random topic of discussion, especially when her own sex life is in line.

“Of course not!” Veronica seems even offended at what Toni suggested. The object in her hand slightly forgotten. “She shouldn’t pretend a thing. God knows Archie is well aware when I don’t enjoy whatever he’s doing, and he tries to do better. Just like any decent guy should.”

The thing is, Nick is a good match. He’s rich and powerful and Penelope loves him. So he’s the best Cheryl could ever get to please her mother and have someone by her side. But she’s not quite sure if the word decent applies to him.

Archie Andrews would never touch Veronica in a way she would yelp in pain. Would he? Weren’t all relationships like hers? Jughead Jones would rather die than hurt Betty Cooper. Right? But isn’t what she’s going through normal? Even Reggie Mantle is gentle with Josie, to the point where every other football player tease him for being whipped. Then why is Nick only gentle before he gets something from her? Or after he’s particularly violent?

Archie, Jughead, even Reggie can fit the definition of decent. Nick, however, not that much. It’s not like Cheryl could get anyone better anyways. People get what they deserve, right?

But they’re in love. Nick loves her and she loves Nick.

“Then don’t imply that it’s on Cheryl ever again. You know it’s bullshit.” Toni pulls the redhead away from her thoughts with a tone of finality.

Her hands itch, Cheryl sighs. She just wants something, wants to take something, actually, wants to get away with it. There’s an object to the left, she sees, purple, kinda small, could fit in her pocket without her two companions even noticing... if they just keep arguing. Veronica’s voice is protesting against what Toni said, but Cheryl doesn’t even bother listening to it, too busy looking around to try and spot any security cameras before she acts.

A hand gently closes around her wrist as Cheryl discreetly reaches the object. She looks at Toni and sees her retorting whatever it was that Veronica stated, her eyes not once shifting from the raven haired girl a few steps away, but the firm grip on the redhead’s wrist showing that Toni knows of her intentions. And won’t let her do what she’s planning.

“Why don’t you just go and pay for your stuff, Veronica?” Toni suggests after sigh, probably knowing their argument won’t take them anywhere anyways. Cheryl can’t really know that, she wasn’t really paying attention. “I suggest you take the one I first told you about. It does wonders.” She adds, with a wide grin.

There’s something about that grin that people can’t help but returning. Like Veronica does as soon as she sees it. The raven haired girl turns around and walks to the cashier, grabbing whatever object Toni had showed her on her way. Cheryl is not really sure what it is or how it works, she’ll never be allowed to use that anyways, so she doesn’t bother being curious.

“Wanna get out of here?” The Southsider asks, her mouth so close to Cheryl’s ear that she can’t help but shudder. Hoping Toni wouldn’t notice that, she nods weakly, realizing the girl’s hand never left her wrist. “Should I check your pockets?” She asks, and the redhead knows she wants to make it sound like a joke not to make her feel embarrassed or humiliated, but it doesn’t change the fact that it was not a rhetorical question.

Cheryl was about to steal a random object from a random store and was stopped by a girl she barely even knows, there is nothing that could be more humiliating than that. She doesn’t mind answering that question, even if it weren’t asked in a playful tone. Toni has all the good reasons to be asking and she knows that.

“You could, but there’s no need to.” She answers. ‘That was my first attempt in here and you saw me.’ That’s implied.

For some reason, Toni trusts her, and Cheryl finds herself following the pink haired girl out of the store so they can wait for Veronica. She notices when the hand on her wrist laces with hers, but does nothing to stop that.

“I thought you said you didn’t get caught.” Is the first thing Toni says as they exit the store.

“You didn’t catch me.” Cheryl retorts, with an eye roll. “You saw me and you stopped me.” She explains.

“That’s the same thing.”

It isn’t. Because Toni’s not someone that can get her in trouble for it. She’s not a security guard, or a police officer. She’s not an authority. Toni can’t even patronize her for doing what she’s doing, because, honestly, doesn’t she do the same? Isn’t that why she’s attending the SA meetings?

Cheryl points that out, partially because she doesn’t want to explain the whole authority thing, partially because it’s quite hypocritical of the gang member to be giving her a hard time for it. She’s in a gang. She got caught. She’s not better in any way.

“Never said I was better, Bombshell.” Toni replies, her eyes softening for a while, as if wanting to let Cheryl know she’s not a bad person. Truth be told, the northsider hadn’t really noticed she said that last thing out loud.

‘You have a problem, Cheryl.’ Veronica’s words echo in her mind once again,

“But, huh, I guess I’ll have to be honest with you?” She continues, with a nervous smile, using her free hand to scrape the back of her neck. Her other hand still holding the redhead’s. “I’m not a shoplifter.”

“What?”

“I took the blame for a friend of mine. I was a minor, he wasn’t.” Cheryl blinks in surprise at the confession. Then realization. ‘So she is better.’

“I see.” Is all that leaves the Blossom’s mouth as she looks down at her feet, fidgeting for a few seconds under the pink haired girl’s scrutinizing look.

A squeeze on her hand makes her look up to meet soft brown eyes and a gentle smile on Toni’s face. “But, hey, I still have to attend the meetings and I’ve heard a lot of Martin’s emotional testimonies and Anna’s pep talks to help with whatever you need. If you need my help, I mean.”

Cheryl wants to yell at her and let go of the hold on her hand. Part of her feels betrayed, for some reason, thinking that there’s nothing left that connects them anymore. And she wants to bury herself alive for feeling like the only real connection she can have with someone is through shoplifting. The other part however, the one she’s more inclined to listen to, argues that Toni had never explicitly told her she shoplifted, and Cheryl never really asked. So it’s not like she lied, she was just never compelled to say the truth. The moment it was mentioned, though, she came clean.

“Thanks, Toni.”

“I’m serious, Bombshell. I said it before, I’m one phone call away.” Toni reassures, her magic grin once again making Cheryl do the same.

“Are you ever gonna drop the Bombshell?”

“Are you kidding me?” The pink haired girl widens her eyes and laughs. “That’s the most fitting and awesome nickname for you. Never dropping it. No way.”

“Ugh, you’re the worst.” Cheryl fakes a sigh and rolls her eyes.

She also does her best to ignore the way her stomach twists and her cheeks burn when she thinks about how Toni said it was a fitting nickname. Remembering that night from a week ago.

‘You think I’m pretty?’

‘What? The prettiest!’

Eventually, Veronica arrives with two bags and a wide grin on her face. Toni laughs and winks at her, seeing the raven haired girl’s excitement about her newest purchase. Cheryl just rolls her eyes in her characteristic HBIC way, but offers her a smile as well. Her friend does spare a glance to hers and Toni’s laced hands, but says nothing as she walks to the car after saying her goodbyes to Toni.

“Bye, Bombshell.” The pink haired girl says first, letting go of Cheryl’s hand. “See you.”

“You’re insufferable.” The redhead tries her best not to show how she misses the contact, by sighing dramatically. “But I guess I’ll see you next week.”

“Sure thing.” She answers, winking at Cheryl and turning around to walk to her motorcycle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... what did you think about this chapter? 
> 
> Thank you for reading it! See you next week!
> 
> @bckwrds101


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, there. I'm back. Here's another chapter. Read the trigger warning please. I repeat: read the trigger warning please.
> 
> TW: mentions of violence and abusive relationship! I REPEAT: MENTIONS OF VIOLENCE ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP!

It’s the fifth week and Veronica still hasn’t changed her mind, dragging Cheryl to every meeting. Cheryl doesn’t tell her about how it’s being less than helpful, because, honestly, she enjoys the girl’s company. Even though she’s positive Veronica keeps going back there for the snacks at this point.

She doesn’t complain about going anymore, only asking if Veronica is sure she wants to go, then entering the car when her friend gives her a positive answer. She likes the feeling of having someone to talk to, despite being about less than important matters. She also likes seeing nice boots and pink hair every week.

Usually, Cheryl even enjoys the silent car rides. Usually. Not this time. This time the silence makes her wants to scream, but she refrains herself from doing so by choosing another approach.

“Veronica?” Cheryl calls, cursing herself for how her voice break only by saying her friend’s name.

“Yes, Cher?”

Veronica doesn’t even take her eyes away from the GPS to look at Cheryl. She’s still learning what roads to take and which lanes to keep driving on, she’s really bad with directions. For some reason, Cheryl finds it easier that way, not having to face the girl as she quietly asks what she needs to ask.

“Does Archie ever...” She trails off with a sigh, urging the tears not to fall. The cracked phone in her hands making it hard to stop them, the burning in her arms and ribs having the same effect.

“Ever?” The other girl encourages, furrowed eyebrows as she hears the hesitancy and fear in Cheryl’s voice. Not quite taking her eyes off the road, though.

Cheryl’s heart pounds fast in her chest and a lump in her throat that she’s not sure if it’s from the sob she’s trying to hold back or if it’s just a sign that she’s about to throw up in nervousness. It doesn’t help that her hands are sweating profusely and she’s nervously wiping them on her pants. She can’t do this. She can’t do this. But she has to. _It hurts_.

“Cher?”

“Like, you know...” Cheryl takes a deep breath. “Hurt you?”

“Hurt me?” Veronica’s eyebrows furrow even more after hearing that. Then her eyes widen, and she throws her car to the roadside as soon as she can, ignoring the cars honking behind her. “Why do you ask that, Cheryl?” She asks as soon as she stops the vehicle, unbothered by the fact that they’re parked on a random space and will probably be late for the meeting.

“Nick showed up in my house yesterday. Said he wanted to surprise me.” Cheryl explains, proud of herself for being able to speak without sobbing uncontrollably despite the lump in her throat.

Nick was only supposed to arrive in two weeks. They have an upcoming event to attend with Penelope and he’d said he would be busy until then, so his visits would be less frequent. If Cheryl’s being honest with herself, that had been one of the best news she’d gotten and she’d even felt guilty for enjoying her boyfriend’s absence so much. That’s the reason why she didn’t look all that happy with his sudden appearance, because she thought she still had two weeks of freedom.

“I didn’t really... I wasn’t really excited. Not as excited as he expected me to be, at least.”

She closes her eyes and exhales shakily, causing Veronica to grab her hand and squeeze it, somehow trying to offer support. It comes back to her mind as a flashback, the screaming, the way he threw things that were around them, the fear, the pain. All she’d done was smile as he showed up to surprise her. But not the exact smile he wanted.

“I was texting Toni, you know? We’ve been talking a lot lately. And she’s funny, sends me some funny memes and whatever.” A smile involuntarily appears on her face at the mention of the pink haired girl, despite the sadness and the despair she feels about her situation.

For the past weeks, ever since Toni’d given Cheryl her phone number, both girls have been talking every day. About anything and everything. Nothing too deep or too personal, but enough so they can get to know each other. They’ve talked about the differences between northside and southside. About favorite colors, foods and TV shows. About life in a gang and how it differs from life in a privileged family.

It also makes the redhead laugh when Toni sends her some weird selfies. And when she sends a good one back, her heart never fails to flutter when the pink haired girl replies with a flirty comment and a heart eyes emoji.

Cheryl’s never talked to her about Jason, only mentioning him once in a while. She’s never asked much about the southsider’s family either. They’ve apparently drawn a line between what can be talked about and what can’t, even though it happened tacitly. They also never see each other in Riverdale, or outside the weekly SA meetings, another tacit agreement, despite how much Cheryl wants to sometimes.

That amount of time they spend texting each other makes the meetings slightly bearable as well. Toni sits by their side now, making small remarks to draw a smile from the redhead, she also usually sneaks a cookie or two inside Veronica’s pocket, making Cheryl roll her eyes at those antics.

“He didn’t like that. Wouldn’t believe me when I said Toni was a girl and just a friend.” She shows Veronica the screen of her phone, lighting it up to let her see how only part of it works now. “Nick has a habit of throwing things when he’s angry. Especially my phone... especially when it’s blowing up with texts that aren’t from him.”

He once stomped on her iPhone just because Moose Mason asked her if she had Kevin’s new number. He didn’t even see the content of the text, only heard the bell and got mad.

“Cheryl, that’s...” Veronica squeezes her hand once more, unable to form any words, using her free hand to wipe her own tears. “God, I thought you were the perfect couple.” The raven haired girl mutters and Cheryl can’t help but laugh humorlessly.

A lot of people seem to think that. That Nick St. Clair is the perfect boyfriend, that his appearance in Cheryl’s life is the perfect ending for her traumatic and terrible story. There’s nothing perfect with him.

But they’re in love, aren’t they? Nick loves her, doesn’t he? And she loves Nick, doesn’t she?

Cheryl’s not even sure if she deserves perfect after all. She doesn’t really want to believe that she deserves everything Nick does to her, but even if she does deserve that, she doesn’t want it. Karma is a bitch but Cheryl just wants to pay for all the bad things she might’ve done in her next life, she’s tired of suffering in this one.

“Did he...” Veronica starts again, quietly, thinking of what to ask next. Probably knowing she won’t really like the answer. “I mean, the phone things is already bad, Cher. But did he do anything else?”

The first thing Cheryl does is nod, shuddering as she remembers the events of the past night. Veronica raises her hand to try and wipe the tears falling from the redhead’s face, but at the sudden movement, as gentle as it is, the girl flinches.

Her friend watches with horrified eyes as Cheryl takes a deep breath and looks at her apologetically. “He did.” She lets out, correcting herself as soon as the words leave her mouth in the past tense. “He... does.”

“Does?”

“That’s not the first time it happened, Veronica.” Cheryl confesses, trying to conceal the shame and embarrassment she feels. Her father had always told her she was weak, and weak is exactly how she feels. “Not the second either.” A sigh leave her mouth as the girl by her side gasps in horror. “I can’t even count how many times it’s been, to be honest.”

It’s silent for a while, both girls with their minds certainly rushing. Veronica’s clearly processing everything Cheryl’d just told her, whereas Cheryl’s feeling a lot of things at once.

**Shame**. She doesn’t want Veronica to look at her as some weakling that can’t fight back.

**More shame**. She can’t help but feel like a weakling that can’t fight back.

**Guilt**. She’s probably the one who pissed him off to the point of him doing that.

**Panic**. She shouldn’t have said anything. Nick’s gonna be so mad. He’s gonna kill her. Or worse. He’s gonna dump her and her mother’s gonna kill her.

_Relief_. She shouldn’t have said anything, but now that she did, she feels like a weight was taken off her shoulders. She feels like she can breathe again.

“You need to leave him.” Veronica breaks the silence, finality in her voice. And Cheryl finds herself shaking her head in despair at those words, at that thought.

Words cannot express how terrified Cheryl is. She’s been telling herself that was the best option for a while now, then constantly telling herself she’s stupid to think so. She can’t just leave Nick.

All she can do is shake her head, trembling at the thought of what could happen to her if she does what Veronica’s telling her to do. Even if, best case scenario, he leaves and never hurts her anymore, her mother will definitely take his place.

“He’s an ass, Cheryl.” Veronica states, with a shake of her head and a sigh.

“He loves me.” Cheryl tries to argue, but the words leave her mouth so weakly that she’s not even sure she’s said them.

She knows she’s trying to assure herself more than her friend. Because despite everything Nick does, he has to love her, right? Isn’t that the only reason why he puts up with her in first place?

A small part of her brain echoes ‘He only loves hurting you.’ Cheryl chooses to ignore that.

“That’s not love!” Is the statement that loudly leaves Veronica’s mouth. As if the idea of love Cheryl has is extremely absurd. 

Even if it is, isn’t that what she deserves?

Her hands itch and slightly burn, not the way her bruises do, but the way to let her know what she needs to do. That’s how her brain shows its needs, despite Cheryl knowing whatever she steals will never be used and is definitely not needed.

There’s no store nearby, and even if there were, she hardly thinks she’d be able to distract Veronica enough to make a move. Not after everything she’d just confessed. So the redhead opens and closes her hands a few times to make that feeling go away. Urging it to go away. She’ll deal with that later, when she’s alone, after the meeting they’ll probably be late to.

It’s ironic how Cheryl’s planning on shoplifting right after an SA meeting. But it’s not like they’re helping anyways. And it’s not like she’s thinking about stopping. Why would she when the best feeling she’s been having comes from stealing the stuff and getting away with it?

“Cheryl, please! Listen to me!” Veronica pleads when the redhead doesn’t react to her last statement. She grabs Cheryl’s sides to hold her in place. However, instead of having that effect, the moment her hands connect to the girl’s arms, Cheryl yelps in pain, tears in her eyes as she tries to get away from that grip.

Veronica lets go immediately, and Cheryl sees, through blurred sight, regret in her eyes. Along with a few other things. Concern being really noticeable as well.

“Cheryl, are you...” She stops herself from asking, once again unable to phrase whatever she wants to say. “Take your jacket off, Cher.” The command leaves her mouth, gently and caring, causing Cheryl to do as she’s told despite how nervous she feels.

Another gasp leaves Veronica as she covers her mouth with a free hand and reach for Cheryl’s arm with another. Cheryl looks down, somehow embarrassed by what her friend is seeing. She can’t help but think that once Veronica is done with accessing her injuries, she’s gonna tell her to put her jacket on again so they can go to the meeting. Cheryl knows she shouldn’t be feeling disappointed, but that’s how things are. She only has friends until they don’t need her anymore.

_She’s going to the meetings with you._

**She’s doing it for the snacks.**

_She can eat anywhere she wants, why is it that she’s driving for two hours or so just so she can get snacks?_

**It’s not wise to rely on people.**

_Veronica can be trusted._

**So could Nick.**

_She’s different._

“We have to take care of those.” The raven haired girl’s voice rings in Cheryl’s ear, and she looks up in surprise to meet Veronica’s even more concerned glaze. Veronica can be trusted. She’s different. “Are you hurt anywhere else?”

“My...” For some reason, she’s lost the ability to speak. Too overwhelmed with the display of caring and concern someone’s sparing her. Clearing her throat, she tries again. “My ribs.”

“Oh, Cher.”

Before Veronica can say anything else, not that she seems to have any more words, a gentle knock on the driver’s side window causes both girls to get out of the bubble they’re in and realize where the car was stopped. Instead of meeting the eyes of a police officer, however, Cheryl sees pink hair leaning down on the window, looking inside slightly uneasy.

Veronica looks at the pink haired Serpent as if she’s their saving grace, and Cheryl can almost hear the gears turning inside the other girl’s head. She looks at Cheryl with a raised eyebrow, waiting for her to call the shots.

_Veronica can be trusted. Toni can be trusted._

**So could Nick.**

_They’re different._

A small nod from the redhead makes Veronica turns around and open her window to meet Toni with a smile. A smile that the southsider returns, although the frown on her face doesn’t really disappear.

“Is everything okay?” Toni asks, at first only looking at Veronica. Possibly because she’s the one closest to her and because she’s the one who parked the car there. “I was on my way to the meeting and saw the car. I recognized it and...”

It’s then that her eyes travel from the raven haired girl to the redhead, acknowledging her presence, something flicks in her eyes. Softness. Fondness. Cheryl thinks she’s about to lose the frown on her face and smile widely when she sees the redhead’s bare arms. And the bruises. 

Something flicks in Toni’s eyes again. And the Blossom sees her hands closing in fists and hears the deep breath she takes. She looks angry, that’s also what her eyes show. Until she looks at Cheryl’s eyes once again and her face softens, as if it’s an expression reserved just for the redhead.

“We need a place...” Veronica says first, noticing the change in Toni’s demeanor, knowing she’ll want to help. Cheryl doesn’t even open her mouth, because as soon as her eyes meet the Serpent’s, she looks down once more. “To tend Cheryl’s...” She doesn’t need to finish, Toni’s already nodding at her and standing up properly.

“We can go to my trailer.” And Veronica doesn’t even bat an eyelash at the information. Cheryl knows she’s not one of those rich girls that care about that. Cheryl is. At least used to be. She’s trying to be better now. For Jason. “I’ll lead the way.”

The implication of that statement causes Cheryl to look up. Both girls are talking like that’s going to happen right at that moment.

“You’ll miss the meeting.” She speaks, weakly, hating the way her voice sounds, looking at Toni with furrowed eyebrows and worried eyes. The pink haired girl chuckles and smiles at her, gently.

“I think Anna can survive without my pretty face for one meeting, don’t you, Bombshell?”

Despite the situation, and how vulnerable she looks, Cheryl is able to roll her eyes and scoff. Firstly because of the use of the nickname. And secondly because of the statement itself.

“So conceited, Topaz.” She shakes her head with a disapproving look, but the grin on her face betrays what she’s trying to portray.

“Don’t you agree?”

And Cheryl doesn’t even know what’s gotten into her when she replies, teasingly. “I don’t think I’d be able to survive a meeting without seeing your pretty face around there.”

Toni winks before she makes her way back to the motorcycle, sparing Veronica a smile as well. “That’s why I keep attending them, Bombshell.”

-

Toni’s trailer is small. Not in a cramped hard to breathe way. Just small and cozy. Comfortable even. That reminds Cheryl of when she said something about her claustrophobia acting up in small spaces to Fred and Archie Andrews, and it’s there, inside Toni’s tiny trailer that she finds it in her heart to regret that statement.

She would never say something like that to Toni. A statement like that could hurt people’s feelings, and she didn’t want Toni to feel hurt in any way. Also, she’s trying to be better person. For Jason.

“I’ll grab some ice for the bruises.” The pink haired girl ushered them inside. Signaling for the couch so the other girl’s can sit while she walks to the kitchen.

“Thank you, Toni.” Cheryl speaks first, noticing the way Veronica was indiscreetly eyeing the place. Not negatively, but curiously. It’s just a reality neither girls had encountered before.

They walk to the couch and take a seat, Veronica, for some reason keeps her arm around Cheryl’s shoulder. As if she’s gonna break. She just might. At that thought, the redhead trembles and the hold on her tightens. She wonders why she was doubting Veronica’s friendship in first place.

“You’ll be okay.” The Lodge whispers while Toni is still busy in the kitchen. Cheryl notices she’s also making some tea and smiles.

“Will I?” She asks, uncertain. Because, really, she has no guarantee of that. She might go back home and suffer in Nick’s hands once more, they don’t know what the future holds. And Cheryl’s not sure if the best future is the one where she dumps her boyfriend.

Before an answer can leave Veronica’s mouth, however, Toni comes back and smiles at them. She manages to bring with her a tray with three tea cups, two ice packs and a bottle of Advil.

It then dawns on Cheryl that the pink haired girl has no idea what’s going on. All she did was see the Blossom hurt and immediately agreed to help. The southsider doesn’t seem really curious, actually. Cheryl figures she’s already familiar with the ‘no questions asked’ approach, given her gang affiliations.

Even if she weren’t, Cheryl’s not quite sure about how she would explain her situation. How she will explain it. Because even if Toni doesn’t ask, Cheryl can’t find it in herself to keep her in the dark. Not when the she so kindly offered her help and is currently offering an ice pack, medicine and a cup of tea.

“Thank you, Toni.” She says again and sees the girl shake her head and dismissively wave her hand after successfully placing the tray on the coffee table.

“Nonsense, Bombshell.” She says, the kindest smile never leaving her face. “There’s no need to thank me, okay? Let’s just make you all better, shall we?”

Veronica nods along Toni’s words, once again squeezing Cheryl’s shoulder in assurance, bringing her close. Cheryl can’t help but find comfort in that gesture, she closes her eyes and exhales soundly, flinching as she does so, her hand quickly moves to her ribs and she tries - and fails miserably - to conceal a whimper.

As if on cue, Toni offers her an ice pack, and Cheryl doesn’t fail to notice the way her brows furrow in worry when the redhead reaches for it. She sees the pink haired serpent squint her eyes as if she felt the same pain Cheryl feels. As if she’s hurting for her.

That’s a mind blowing level of empathy, especially when you don’t know someone that well, Cheryl muses, placing the ice pack exactly where it hurts. Over her clothes, of course.

“You know,” Toni speaks, causing her to look up and see the girl sitting right in front of her, on top of the coffee table “I think it would be more efficient if you didn’t have all these layers on your way.”

Cheryl’s cheeks flush visibly, realizing the implication of those words, and Veronica lets out a loud laugh. Before any of the girls can say anything, Toni speaks again.

“I won’t peak.” She says, with a wink, making the blush on Cheryl’s cheek increase. “Promise.”

For a second, Cheryl has half the mind tease her back. However, considering how flustered she is, she’s afraid she’ll stutter when talking to her. Cheryl Blossom doesn’t freaking stutter.

“Cheryl’s too shy.” Veronica says with a chuckle and Cheryl, despite thankful for her friend’s statement, saving her from having to say something, can’t help but duck her head down to hide her face. “But Toni is not wrong, Bombshell, it’s more effective if you don’t have your shirt on the way.”

“I’m not gonna get naked!” Cheryl exclaims in protest, her high pitched voice making its appearance, causing Toni to burst into laughter and Veronica to roll her eyes with a smile on her face.

“No one said that, Bombshell.” Toni eases her when the laughing subsides. “I mean” The Serpent continues after what seems like a moment of putting some thought into it “Not a view I’d be opposed to, obviously.” She winks and gives Cheryl the most heart warming smirk.

If her ribs didn’t hurt that much, and if Cheryl hadn’t found herself so charmed by the girl in front of her, she would have shrunk in her seat, hugged her knees and hid her blushing face. But she’s hurting, so bringing her knees to her chest would be painful as hell, and she kinda likes looking into Toni’s eyes when the girl has that look on her face. So, despite her embarrassment, and the way her cheeks flush, Cheryl smiled at her, and she swears she sees a look of pure fondness reach Toni’s eyes.

“You won’t drop the nickname, will you?” Cheryl asks, instead of replying to Toni’s shameless statement.

“Told you once, tell you once again... not happening.” She replies with that annoyingly attractive smirk of hers that makes Cheryl roll her eyes to hide how it certainly affects her.

“Whatever, Topaz.” The redhead says, keeping herself busy with the ice pack on her hands, finding a way to put it under her clothes without revealing much. She doesn’t miss the way Toni’s eyes dart to where her skin is now showing, but chooses not to call her out on that to remind her that she said she wouldn’t peak. It’s not like Cheryl hates the attention anyways.

“I’ll find a fitting nickname for you as well.”

“I look forward to it, Bombshell.”

-

“So, you wanna know what happened?”

Cheryl takes a sip of her tea as she looks at Toni, still sitting on the coffee table, after they talked about random things while she iced her bruises. The other girl raises her eyebrows and Veronica nearly breaks her neck with how harshly she whips her head to look at Cheryl. She either thinks Toni shouldn’t know or Cheryl wouldn’t tell her.

“Only if you want to tell me.” Comes the reply, along with a small smile that disappears behind the tea cup. “But no pressure.”

Looking at Veronica for confirmation, Cheryl sees her smile encouragingly and nod. She takes a deep breath an closes her eyes, looking at Toni as she allows the words once again to leave her mouth.

“Nick did this.” She can’t help but look down after that statement, feeling as weak and helpless as she does whenever the fight is happening, or even right after.

Half of her doesn’t think telling anyone will change anything, half of her hopes it does. Because Nick is powerful and rich and violent, but if she has backup, maybe Cheryl can get rid of him.

It doesn’t really comfort her the idea of her mother finding out, though. She’s been leaving Cheryl alone for a while now, no snarky remarks, no violent grips on her arms and wrists, no comments about how Jason shouldn’t have been the one to die. All because of a rich guy that seems to be all Cheryl can get to make Penelope feel proud of her, or as proud as a loveless mother could feel.

Her thoughts quickly change to Heather and the look of disgust and disappointment Penelope had given her that fateful night. The look of hate and shame all the nights after that. The smug glance when, not surprisingly, Heather moved with her family to the other side of the globe. Not the other side of North America. The globe. That’s how much Penelope despises Cheryl, to the point of sending someone she loves away just so they can’t be together. Just so the youngest Blossom of this generation can’t ruin their legacy with her deviancies.

And Cheryl’s been doing such a great job with keeping herself in line. She hasn’t looked at a girl like she’d looked at Heather for years now, not counting the slight slip of her mind when Veronica came to town. Lodge was pretty and kind, and she was vulnerable, unable to control her inner repressed feelings. That was just a two seconds thought, shouldn’t even be considered.

Then comes Toni, with beautiful shoes, a ridiculously attractive flannel mesh aesthetic, the prettiest face Cheryl’s ever seen and the kindest smile. She was doomed at second sight. The first one doesn’t count because the Serpent was just trying to annoy her.

Cheryl shakes her head, along with the tears in her eyes. It’s not like Toni will ever spare a glance to her that way, and, even if she miraculously does, it’s not like it is safe for them to develop anything.

“Bombshell?” Raspy voice and gentle touches pull Cheryl out of her thoughts. Toni has her fingers on her chin, raising her head to meet her eyes. She’s gentle, despite the anger in her eyes that Cheryl thinks she’s trying her best to conceal. “We lost you for a moment.”

“Sorry.”

Toni shakes her head and uses her free hand to wipe the tears falling from Cheryl’s eyes. She barely registers Veronica’s hand around her shoulders anymore, all she can think about is Toni’s warm and comforting touch.

“Don’t apologize.” Toni says, firmly, but not unkindly. “You’re not the one that has to do it.”

“Sor-“ A pointed look from the girl has Cheryl stopping on her tracks. She nods and smiles weakly at the girl, who returns it, for some reason, calming Cheryl’s nerves down.

Veronica clears her throat and both girls look at her. She has a unreadable smirk on her face and raised eyebrows.

“I’ll ignore the fact that both of you just forgot I was here for a moment.” She speaks with a sigh and a shake of her head. Toni smiles at her sheepishly and Cheryl tries her best not to blush. She did kinda forget Veronica was there for a moment. She blames it solely on Toni’s smile. “Because we need a course of action.”

“A course of action?”

“To get rid of that boyfriend of yours.” Toni says, already catching on to whatever’s on Veronica’s mind.

“We can’t kill him!” Cheryl protests in a high pitched voice. Thinking about it, she doesn’t really care if Nick is dead.

Because they’re not really in love, are they? Nick doesn’t really love her, does he? And she doesn’t really love Nick, does she?

‘He only loves hurting you.’ Her brain screams, and she believes it this time.

However, Chery doesn’t really want her friends in jail. Not the only two people she could manage to trust in such a small time. So they can’t kill Nick, even if that would free her from his clutches forever.

“Don’t give me any ideas, Bombshell.” Toni says with a chuckle, her tea cup long forgotten on the coffee table she’s not sitting on anymore. Cheryl was so lost inside her own mind thinking about her mother and Heather before that she didn’t really notice that Toni changed her position to come closer to her. She’s kneeling on the floor and now that there are no more tears for her to wipe away, one of her hands holds Cheryl’s.

Veronica laughs, but Cheryl knows that deep inside, they’re thinking the same thing. Toni might be joking, but she gives off that vibe that she could actually kill any men at any time. And that her knuckles seem really fond of abusive guys. That’s why Cheryl speaks before her friend.

“No violence!”

“You’re no fun.” A playful pout makes Toni look adorable, and Cheryl can’t help but giggle despite her situation.

“But really, Cheryl. You’re gonna dump him, right?” Veronica asks, clearly remembering their conversation in the car, where Cheryl was adamant she couldn’t do it. Toni tilts her head in confusion, and Cheryl thinks it’s because the possibility of her being with Nick after what he’s done hadn’t even crossed her mind.

It’s not like she doesn’t want to break up with him. It’s not like she wants to keep living the life of a perfect couple when they’re as far from it as possible. But it’s not like she’s prepared for the rage she’s going to face when she talks to Nick. And it’s not like she’s looking forward for the disapproving and hateful looks her mother will give her after she lets go of the only person that redeems her from being a deviant daughter.

“Cheryl, what Nick did to you-“ As if sensing her hesitancy, Toni starts, but is soon cut off by Veronica.

“Does.”

“Excuse me?”

“What Nick does to Cheryl.” Veronica corrects her, her arms leaving Cheryl’s sides to cross in front of her chest. She doesn’t seem angry, more like frustrated. “It’s not the first time that happens, not the second either, only the first time Cheryl tells someone.”

The grip on her hand tightens for a second and, being so close to Toni, Cheryl can see her inhaling and exhaling deeply. Probably trying to calm herself down.

“I’m going to kill him.” She says, finally on her tone that makes Cheryl squeeze her hand and look at her pleadingly.

“I said no violence.”

“And your stupid boyfriend is clearly the one who doesn’t understand what it means.”

Cheryl flinches, hearing the bite in Toni’s voice, and tries to let go of the girl’s hand. Knowing she’s upset Toni makes her feel guilty for even bringing up her issues in first place. She’s about to close herself off, thank Toni for her help and tell Veronica they have to go, when she hears Toni one more time.

“Shit. I’m sorry, Cheryl. I didn’t mean to snap.” She says, softly, her thumb brushing against the back of Cheryl’s hand. The one she was about to retrieve from the girl’s touch. “It’s just...” With a sigh, she continues. “You shouldn’t be getting hurt. You don’t deserve to be getting hurt. I can’t imagine someone being an asshole enough to hurt that pretty face of yours.”

“If it serves any comfort, he never goes for the face.” Cheryl tries to joke, but her smile falters when Toni’s eyes harden, the anger once again visible.

“It doesn’t.” Toni retorts, bringing one hand to brush a thumb on Cheryl’s cheek, causing the redhead to smile dumbly at the feeling. Butterflies flying in her stomach.

Fuck! This can’t happen! They can’t happen! It’s dangerous! She doesn’t want Toni moving to Thailand or Singapore or wherever Heather is. Not because of Cheryl’s deviant ways that can’t keep her mother happy.

Her panic is shortly cut off by a scoff coming from her left side. Veronica. Seemingly annoyed.

“You didn’t just forget I was here for the second time.” She says with a huff and Toni laughs, pulling her hand away from Cheryl’s face. “I’m sure you didn’t.”

“Of course not, Veronica.” Toni speaks, smiling at her, giving Cheryl the time she needs to compose herself and stop missing the soft touch on her cheek. “You’re kind of hard to forget.” She finishes it with a wink followed by that amazingly attractive smirk of hers. And Cheryl tries her best to ignore the pang of jealousy in her chest, seeing that same smirk directed at somebody else.

“Your sweet talks are not effective, Topaz.” Veronica glares at her playfully. “Not to me, anyways.” She adds, looking at Cheryl with a knowing grin, causing her cheeks to blush and Toni to chuckle, gripping her hand a bit tighter.

Honestly, for someone self entitled Cheryl Bombshell, she’s blushing quite a lot.

“Let’s think about this after we deal with the problematic situation, shall we?” The Serpent replies, a smile on her face.

Veronica rolls her eyes but nods. Apparently, they can joke around how much ever they want, but that always comes back to the main reason they’re there in first place. Nick.

“I want to break up with him.” Cheryl says, and she swears she sees relieve in Veronica’s eyes when she looks at her. Toni’s just smiling encouragingly. “But I’m scared.” The confession leaves her mouth before she can stop herself, and she doesn’t miss the way Toni’s eyes soften and Veronica sighs in sadness at that statement.

“I’m sure you are.” Toni is the first to speak, while Veronica once again wraps an arm around Cheryl’s shoulder. “You’re so brave.” The way she says it brings tears to Cheryl’s eyes. Brave is the last thing she feels at the moment. Her chest tightens at the way she’s being looked at, gently, carefully, proudly.

“We’ll be by your side.” Toni continues and Veronica nods at that statement.

The idea of not being alone causes Cheryl to let out a heartfelt sob and allow her tears to fall freely. Veronica is quick to hold her once again, tighter this time, resting her head on Cheryl’s shoulder, and Toni moves even closer to hold her in a hug.

“You’re not alone.” She whispers in her ear, and Cheryl’s body shakes with even more sobs. “Let it out. It’s okay. You’ll be okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... hi? What are your thoughts on this chapter?
> 
> You can tell me here or on twitter @bckwrds101
> 
> See you next week :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there. Long time no see (???)
> 
> So, this chapter was supposed to be longer, but I'm extremely unsatisfied with the way the other part turned out so... in order for me to post something, at least, I'm going to divide this and post the rest of it in another chapter when I'm done rewriting it :) 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you like it. 
> 
> You can also find me on Twitter @bckwrds101

They decide to have a sleepover. Well, Toni and Veronica decide to have a sleepover, Cheryl is just too emotionally drained from all the crying to protest. She just sends her mother a text saying she’s going to be at Veronica’s - not that Penelope will bother looking for Cheryl, but just in case she does -, then Veronica decides no phones are allowed and they have to leave them on the kitchen counter.

Nick calls her exactly 27 times, but none of those times she answers. Half because the girls tell her not to, half because she doesn’t really want to. She knows he’s gonna try to talk his way into her heart again, try and pin the blame on her and never apologize.

Well, she should’ve offered a better reaction to his presence, shouldn’t she? It’s not like it’s his fault that she wasn’t excited to see him. And that she was texting someone else.

**Was it really not your fault?**

Those types of thoughts creep inside her head sometimes. In most of the time Cheryl spends talking with the girls, she’s convinced Nick is the one to blame for his actions. She knows he’s the abusive bastard. But sometimes, just sometimes, she can’t shake the feeling in the back of her head that this is all her fault, that she deserves it and that maybe Nick is not that wrong.

Those conflicting ideas are shaken out of her as soon as she exchange glances with Toni. The girl seems to know exactly what she’s thinking, whenever that’s what she’s thinking, so they take an extra time going over the fact that none of that is her fault, and that she doesn’t deserve what’s happening to her. No one does. And Veronica nods along whatever Toni is saying, despite Cheryl knowing she doesn’t quite understand the reason for all the assurance.

“Isn’t that obvious, though?” She’d said the first time Toni stopped whatever they were doing to reassure Cheryl. Toni had answered that sometimes it wasn’t, and that fact had to be reminded from time to time. After that, every once in a while, when the pink haired girl had grabbed Cheryl’s hands in hers and told her how deserving of love and not to blame she was, Veronica was always there, smiling encouragingly and nodding.

It’s only at night when Veronica’s phone won’t stop ringing that they tell her to answer it. She does it with guilt, being the one to decide on the ‘no phones allowed’ rule. Turns out Hiram and Hermione Lodge are going crazy because there’s going to be a business dinner in two hours and Veronica’s presence is required.

By then, Cheryl is just too comfortable under the blankets, watching another episode of The Office and eating a slice of pizza that’s just been delivered, to want to leave. Toni doesn’t really make any moves or say anything for her to go with Veronica. She actually says ‘Cheryl can stay if she wants’ when Veronica asks if Cheryl wants a ride back home. So she stays and they watch two more episodes before calling it a night.

“You live by yourself?” Cheryl asks when they’re cleaning the living room up.

“Yep.” Toni answers, not really looking at her, too focused on taking some cups to the kitchen sink. Way too focused on a simple task like that for Cheryl’s taste.

Cheryl’s not the one to pry. Well, she is, but she’s been trying not to be. For Jason. So she doesn’t ask anything else, just hums in response.

“Technically, I live here with my uncle.” The Serpent girl shares, with a sigh. Cheryl wants to ask about her parents, but decides against it. “But, uh, he’s not around.”

“He works outside of Riverdale?” She asks because, yes, she’s been trying not to pry, she’s been trying not to sound so curious, but she can never stop herself from asking when she’s given vague answers. 

“I don’t think he works, actually. If he does, I don’t really care.” An humorless laugh leaves the pink haired girl’s lips and Cheryl finds herself even more intrigued. She doesn’t need to ask anything this time, because Toni continues. “Not a good guy, that one. FP kicked him out and he’s been away ever since.”

The mention of the so called ‘Serpent King’ makes Cheryl stop on her tracks and grimace involuntarily. She thinks about the footage Betty’s showed her, the flash drive she keeps hidden in the second drawer of her bedside table. She thinks about Jason and how said king was coldhearted enough to mop her twin’s blood and keep quiet about it. She thinks about the Southside, the scum. About gang wars and drug empires. 

Then she sees Toni Topaz right in front of her, looking at her with a concerned frown on her face, showing the gentleness and care that some of Cheryl’s so called friends failed to do. And she can’t possibly accept that someone so soft could be raised on that side of the tracks, she refuses to believe, for a second, that there’s good in the territory that her brother lost his life. Toni proves her wrong with a smile and a brush of her fingers in Cheryl’s arm.

“You okay, Bombshell?”

The redhead nods, because, really, there’s nothing much for her to do. Realization of Toni’s background reality just now sinking in, despite the fact that she’s known it for quite a while now.

_You’ve seen the jacket on her back the first day you’ve met, Cheryl._

“I'm sorry to bring FP up.” She says, walking back to the kitchen and dropping the last of the things she’s been holding in one hand on the counter. “For a moment I forgot you’re a Blossom and you guys, uh, have history.” 

Cheryl snorts, humored by the fact that someone can actually forget her last name, after all the chaos the Blossoms have brought to that godforsaken town. “Understatement of the year.” She rolls her eyes to try and convey indifference, but also to stop the tears she thinks are coming. “FP Jones helped ruining my life.” 

“It hurts to hear that the same person that ruined someone’s life, saved mine.” Toni states, stepping closer to the redhead and holding one of her hands. She looks down at them with a sad smile, and Cheryl does the same. 

“He was not the one that took my brother from me, anyways.” Cheryl speaks after some good twenty seconds of silence, both girls just casually looking down at their laced hands. “JayJay deserved justice just as much as I deserved to know I was living with a murderer all along. I'm just mad he didn’t speak up.” 

“He did it to protect Jug-“

“I know, but am I selfish to think about who would protect me? Is it selfish to want someone to care about me?” She doesn’t even let Toni finish her sentence. Cheryl knows it’s impolite, knows Toni is being kind enough to let her stay the night, so she shouldn't be just cutting the girl off like that. But, honestly, that excuse is not something she’d never heard before.

All people say to justify FP’s actions is that he did it to protect his son, his entire gang even. Those same people fail to realize Cheryl was the one sitting at the dinner table with her brother’s killer, sleeping at night with her door unlocked when her father could have just walked inside her bedroom and shot her in the head, like he did to Jason. People fail to realize that FP wouldn’t really have to worry about Clifford’s threats had her father been locked up, had the Serpent King confessed what happened and showed the police the footage. Aren’t there protection programs or shit like that? Even if there aren’t, Clifford Blossom was a powerful man, he would not, however, be as powerful behind bars. Not to the point of doing something Jughead Jones couldn't be protected from, by his father, by the police, by the Serpents or whoever. 

Honestly, the idea that people don’t really think about Cheryl shouldn’t even bother her that much at that point. But it still hurts, no matter how many times her heart has been broken with that realization.

“I'm going to.” Toni says, unbothered about being interrupted before. She speaks calmly, her eyes conveying so certainty as she looks into Cheryl’s that the Blossom can’t help but to be drawn into them. “Protect you, Cheryl. I will.” 

_Toni can be trusted. _

**Can she though?**

_It doesn’t hurt to try._

**Oh, how it does. **

_She seems sincere._

**So did Nick. **

_You should know by now she’s nothing like Nick._

**Best case scenario, it will end up like the Heather situation. Worst case scenario, she’ll hurt you like Nick does.**

With a sigh, Cheryl lets go of their hands and look away. She’s suddenly nervous and overwhelmed, not knowing what to believe. Toni’s seen her in her worst, helped her that afternoon and is currently offering a place for Cheryl to stay. She’s been reassuring Cheryl the past hours that things will be fine and that breaking up with Nick is the right thing - which Cheryl knows it is -. Still, there’s that stupid little voice in the back of her head that won’t leave her alone. It makes Cheryl question herself and her existence every day of her life, of course it would make the girl question Toni’s truthfulness. 

God, her palms itch. That feeling coming back to her full force after she'd suppressed it in the car with Veronica earlier. She hasn’t felt it for the entire afternoon since she’s arrived in Toni’s place. But now, once again, she’s overwhelmed, and she needs to cool down, she just needs to get away with something. She barely registers Toni’s next words, making an effort to pay attention to them as she goes back to the living room and sits on the couch.

“I know it’s hard to trust someone right now, I don’t blame you, after everything you’ve been through. But I’m going to prove it to you, okay? I’ll protect you, and I definitely care about you. You can trust me, Cheryl. With whatever you need.” The girl sits by her side, keeping a safe distance between them, but a close eye on Cheryl’s reaction nonetheless. Her tone is so full of conviction, it’s so moving, that Cheryl can’t even think before letting out what’s on her head.

“I need to steal something.” She can’t stop herself from saying it. Cheryl knows she shouldn't have done that, but it just… couldn't be helped. 

It’s not like the urge is going away anytime soon, especially not after she was just able to suppress it a few hours earlier. And it’s also not like Toni doesn’t know about her shoplifting habits. They’ve met in a SA meetings, for heaven’s sake. And, honestly, it’s definitely not like she wants to go outside at night, enter a random store in a side of the town she’s sure is dangerous as hell and steal something from there. She needs to, but she doesn’t really want to. If anything, telling Toni was a cry for help, and not a cry for an accomplice. 

“What? Like, right now?” Toni asks, widen eyes betraying her chill tone. Cheryl nods, tears in her eyes, from either shame or despair she’s unable to control. “Okay… uh… let’s… uh…” Despite her state, Cheryl can see the girl trying to fish any knowledge she’s acquired from those SA meetings she shouldn't even be attending in first place. “How about we talk about it? Like people do in the meetings?”

“Like you’re my shrink?” Cheryl lets out in a strained voice, a furrow in her brows and a scrunched nose. She’s desperate, but is she that desperate?

“Like I’m your friend.” Toni speaks softly, getting closer and tentatively placing a hand on top of Cheryl’s. “Come on, Bombshell. Let’s try it, shall we? I’m your friend, talk to me.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Cheryl nods and laces her hand with Toni’s, needing the comfort of a friend. Needing anything to keep her grounded, really. And if there’s anything Toni’s touch can do, is ground her and make her feel calmer. “So let’s start.”

“Right.” A nervous chuckle escapes the redhead and she runs her free hand through her hair a few times. “What do I do?”

“Why don’t you tell me about when and how did you start?” Toni offers, her voice always delicate, a small smile on her face causing Cheryl to do the same. That damn smile. 

“With Jason, I guess.” She confesses, looking down at their hands with a sigh, feeling a gentle squeeze on hers, a way of Toni to show her she’s not alone. “I mean, with his death. I was just trying some sunglasses on, I left the store with a pair at the top of my head, I didn’t really notice at first. When I did, I knew I had to go back and pay for them, or return them, they were not even that cute.”

Somehow, remembering all those things, telling that story to someone, helps. Her urge to steal something, to get away with something, keeps subsiding with every word she shares, every glance at Toni’s eyes and the look of fondness she’s receiving from the pink haired girl. So she continues, until that feeling is gone. 

"But I couldn’t. Because there was no need to. I wasn’t caught by anyone, the security guard didn't catch me, the salesclerk didn’t catch me, it wasn’t going to be on my record. I got away with it. Just like so many bad people get away with worse shit.” 

“And I kept stealing, and getting away with it. Honestly, if there are forces that can randomly take people away, there have to be forces that can randomly give us things for free.” Cheryl sighs as she finishes her story, one last thing coming out of her mouth that makes Toni frown and squeeze her hand tighter. “I'm not a good person, Toni. But I’ve made peace with that.”

“You’re not a bad person, Cheryl.” She says, her thumb gently brushing circles on Cheryl’s hands as she uses the back of her hand to wipe away the trace of tears the redhead didn’t even realize she just shed. 

“Aren’t I, though?” Cheryl’s says, barely, in a whisper. Years of hearing what a loveless monster she is make it hard for her to believe someone she’s just met a few weeks ago. 

Toni is gentle as she stands up and helps Cheryl up as well, she looks into her eyes with a caring smile that makes Cheryl’s heart clench. Stupid butterflies. Toni is the the softest when she lets out:

“You’re a very good person who bad things have happened to.”

Despite the emotional conversation, the whole afternoon of crying, and everything Nick’s been putting her trough, Cheryl finds herself laughing as she hears those words. Not quite well believing them yet, however.

“Did you really just quote Harry Potter to reassure me?” She asks, amused. Half of her really is amused at that, but the other half, the most desperate one, just wants to deflect. She doesn’t want to go into detail about all the things she’s done in her life to prove to Toni how bad of a person she really is. Not when Toni looks at her like that, like the Blossom is precious just for existing. 

“A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.” Toni shrugs, as she tugs on Cheryl’s hand and leads her to the closed door in the back of the trailer.“Now come on, I’m gonna show you your bedroom for the night, princess.”

The room is small, not that Cheryl is surprised, considering size of the rest of the trailer. Still, it feels familiar. The scent, the way there are beautiful pictures on the walls, some books piling in two columns on the corner, most of them about real life crimes and investigations and others like Harry Potter, the Selection series, a Stephen King collection and, to Cheryl’s surprise, the entire Twilight saga - for some reason, she thought Toni would be the person badmouthing those books, not reading them -, the neat and tidy twin bed with purple sheets, the lamp that is shaped like a full moon with a smiley face… It all screams Toni. And Cheryl absolutely adores it.

Toni hands her a T-shirt and some shorts for her to sleep on, and shows her the bathroom, where the redhead proceeds to change her clothes, wash her face and brush her teeth. When she goes back to the bedroom, Toni is already in her pajamas, finishing the second braid in her hair. 

Cheryl doesn’t want to be alone. She’s too scared of where her mind is going to take her if she doesn’t have company, but she knows Toni’s giving her space by saying she’s sleeping on the couch. And despite desperately wanting someone to be with her, wanting Toni, specifically, to be with her, Cheryl doesn't ask for her to stay as she gets under the covers and settles herself on the bed - that is actually way more comfortable than the redhead thought it would be.

“I know what you tried to do back there, Cheryl.” Toni says, as she’s leaving the room and stops by the light switch to turn the light off. Cheryl looks up and the moon lamp is staring at her with a smile, mockingly. Toni didn’t really fall for her deflecting technique. "I’ll tell you again, you’re not a bad person. And if you need to be reminded of that time and time again, I don’t mind being the person to do that.” Toni flips the light switch just in time for a stubborn tear to fall from Cheryl’s eyes. Has she not cried enough already? “You’re not alone, Cheryl, please remember that. Have a good night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About the weekly updates... uh, it's gonna have to be "whenever I can" updates for now, because life is busy and all. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and I'll see you next time (which, hopefully, won't take long)!
> 
> @bckwrds101

**Author's Note:**

> So... what are your thoughts? (I'm gonna be honest and say I'm not sure about it myself... but I'll keep posting anyways lol)
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> @bckwrds101


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